Top Ten Bad Reasons for Choosing a College

Aden Wertz

  1. You are afraid.
  2. Your boyfriend/girlfriend is going there. If you don’t go, too, the love of your life might dump you. (see #1)
  3. Your best friend is going there. If you don’t room with your bff, no one else will ever talk to you and you might be hopelessly alone for four years. (see #1)
  4. You were there for a weekend (or more), so you can navigate the campus without looking like a dork by pulling out a map or asking for directions. (see #1)
  5. Your Uncle Joe went there and told you it had a great program in your major back in ’62.
  6. You have heard of it before, but can’t remember exactly in what context.
  7. You liked the catchy jingle on the commercial.
  8. Your parents are very much against this school.
  9. It’s only twenty-two miles from home, so you can keep working thirty hours per week at Starbucks, which you need to do so you can afford to pay for your car, which you need to drive to work.
  10. Someone in its brochure looked really hot.

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