All men play a very important role in sexual violence prevention. Men know that rape and other forms of sexual violence are typically thought of as women’s issues. What men don’t know are the roles they can play in stopping sexual assault. Following is a list of things any man can do to play a role in stopping sexual violence.
- Be aware of language. Words are very powerful. We live in a society in which words are often used to put women down. Calling a girl or a woman “baby,” a “bitch,” a “whore,” or a “dog” sends a message that women are inferior to men, making it easier to treat them with less respect, disregard their rights, and ignore their well-being.
- Communicate. Sexual violence often goes hand in hand with poor communication. Our discomfort with talking honestly and openly about sex dramatically raises the risk of rape. By learning effective sexual communication—stating your desires clearly, listening to your partner, and asking when the situation is unclear—men make sex safer for themselves and others.
- Speak up. You will probably never see a rape or sexual assault in progress, but you will see and hear attitudes and behaviors that degrade women and promote rape. When your best friend tells a joke about rape, say you don’t find it funny. When you read an article that blames a rape survivor for being assaulted, write a letter to the editor. When laws are proposed that limit women’s rights, let politicians know that you won’t support them. Do anything but remain silent.
- Support survivors of rape. Rape will not be taken seriously until everyone knows how common it is. In the U.S. alone, more than one million women and girls are raped each year (Rape in America, 1992). This is actually a low figure because it only accounts for the rapes reported to the police. By learning to considerately support survivors in their lives, men can help both women and other men feel safer to speak out about being raped and let the world know how serious of a problem rape is.
- Contribute your time and money. Join or donate to an organization working to prevent violence against women. Rape crisis centers, domestic violence and sexual assault agencies, and men’s anti-rape and anti-violence groups count on donations for their survival and always are looking for new members to bring fresh ideas to the groups.
- Talk with women about… how the risk of being raped affects their daily lives; the ways they would like to be supported if it has happened to them; what they think men can do to prevent sexual violence. If you’re willing to listen, you can learn a lot from women about the impact of rape and how to stop it.
- Talk with men about… how it feels to be seen as a potential rapist; the fact that 10 to 20 percent of all males will be sexually abused in their lifetimes; whether they personally know of someone who’s been raped. Learn about how sexual violence touches the lives of men and what we can do to stop it.
All additional information on what men can do to help go to Men Can Stop Rape.
